HEART

What does it mean to have heart? Does your actions reflect your heart? If so, are those actions glorifying God? and if not, then what do your actions represent?

Here is my current battle: my heart.

I know what I believe in my heart. I know what I want. I know my hearts desires! i know that God knows my hearts desires! But yet I sometimes wonder is KNOWING enough.

Well actually I know the answer to that.. its NO. You have to more than KNOW. you have to DO!! I trust the Lord with my life, 100%. There is absolutely no doubt in my life that He has great things planned for me- So why then am I battling between my heart and head about what to do next?

I am giving Him my all in everything I do. At work, in school, church, the worship internship ALL of it. Its His. I do NOT wanna hold onto anything, because then thats like saying "well God you have most of it, i'll take care of the rest from here". THAT WONT WORK.

Proverbs 21:2 states "every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs his heart"

What does the Lord see when he looks at my heart?

Does he see a woman who is passionate about Him?

A woman who wants to continue to daily surrender herself to Him?

A woman whose flame continues to burn as she learns about Him daily?

A woman who wants to die to herself and live SOLEY and completely for Him?

A woman who yearns on a daily basis for her Hearts desires to come to pass?

A woman who LOVES Him with every ounce that she has yet is not sure if she expresses it correctly?

A woman that chooses to live her life as an example to others of His love?

A woman who wants to remain humble, and continue to allow Him to shape and mold her into what He has created me to be?

A woman who is so madly deeply in love with Him, where there are no words to describe it?

What does He see?

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AMEN! As I am writing this whole thing out, God is speaking to my HEART.

He sees me. He knows me. Always has. Always will.

He has my life in His hands. IT WILL ALL COME TO PASS. my hearts desires.

Patience is key. Trust is key. Love is key.

God is bringing people in my life for a reason. I thank Him for each and every one of them.

I give God ALL of me!

Thats all He asks of me. I am to TRUST Him and be patient in His timing. I get so caught up in how I believe things should work out that I start to take matters into my own hands, I jump ahead of God's timing. But, no more shall I do that.

I know that I am not perfect! But he knows my heart and my Character! He has formed me!

My heart is ALL His. Which means... I no longer have a battle- for I have casted it upon Him!

What a mighty God we serve :)

Psalm 55:22 "Cast all your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you: He will never let the righteous fall"

BOLDNESS.CONFIDENCE

Hebrews 10:35 Says "therefore do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward"

The subject of boldness and confidence in Christ has been on my heart alot lately. As I have been asked to step out of my comfort zone more and more each day, I see God stretching me and challenging me to step out. To press into faith, to TRUST in Him. Having confidence in who I am in Him.

Most people know that I love to sing. Music is a HUGE passion of mine, and a talent that God has graciously blessed me with. I have been a part of multiple Worship teams. I love being on them, but I only like blending in. I don't wanna be the leader, I don't wanna be the soloist. I enjoy being in the background. Honestly it's mostly been because I have compared myself to other singers and never beleived I was good enough to lead a song. I was too focused on ME and how I would sound if I sang alone. Then God started to work on my heart. First it was to show me the true meaning of Worship, and why I was put up there in the first place. Then I saw that it was not for me to compare myself to anyone else, God made me in my own unique way. He gave me a passion for music for a reason. As I have entered into Bible School, I am doing a Worship internship. I decided at the beginning that I was going to allow God to work in me. To stretch me, and thats exactly what He is doing. Teaching me to surrender myself completely to Him. The first night the Worship leader told me I was singing on my own, I thought my stomach was gonna come out of my mouth, and that I was see things. I was so nervous, but I didn't try and back down, I did not find every excuse in the book to avoid it. I LET GO and LET GOD. And wow, God is a faithful God. I focused on the very words of the songs I was singing. Each week I have become more confident in my the ability that God has given me.

During prayer Sunday I was not feeling well but chose not to let that hinder me from really surrendering myself to God. Pastor usually asks if there is anything us as a congregation want to say, or pray for. Even if I do have something I never even give it a thought to do that publicly, but this weekend was different. I had every desire to speak and say what God had put on my heart. Funny thing is, it was all about boldness and confidence. I know that God is doing great works in me and I know that with Him I AM victorious.

Though life is crazy, there is no doubt in my mind that God has His hand on my life and is preparing me for something far greater than I could ever imagine. He answers my prayers time and time again, and has never let me down. I know that as I countinue to step out in faith and press into Him with everything I have then I won't be disaapointed. This change of heart, this new confidence and boldness is not for me to become prideful in my own abilities, but humble that I cannot do it alot, yet only with the help of Christ, my Lord and Savior am I able to succeed in this world.

I leave you with this scriputure that Pastor used yesterday during church. He is speaking on Trusting God for our daily resources.. which has been perfect for my life.

2 Peter 1:3 " His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue.."

it is in HIS power alone that I am able to be where I am today. ALL THE GLORY GOES TO HIM

With love-
KristiLee

SNOW.

So after spending the last 4 years in Illinois, in MANY feet of snow. Walking to class shivering, feeling like my face was FROZEN in one facial expression all day! Cleaning of my car with my debit cards, trying SOOOO hard not to fall on the ice, yet somehow I always DID haha. I was excited to experience seasons, after living in California my whole life I loved having snow for 4 years! But when I got the job in Texas I was excited to get back to some warmer weather! Never would I have thought I would wake up to 3 inches of snow in my front yard!

It was amazing! I have to admit! It brought back some great college memories and many laughable moments! I miss all my roomies! I miss my tammy girl and I miss chicago! I cannot wait to get back and see them all whether to live there or visit! Its all in God's hands!

I loved watching all my students at school today, they went out and had a snowball fights and were just overall having a blast. This was like christmas morning for most of these kids. They have never seeen snow. And it didn't just flurry, it snowed and stuck about 4 inches maybe more (im not good with measurements lol). It was a bit joyouse though watching these kids just enjoy life. Dallas was hit hard almost 10 inches, good thing I dont have my CFNI classes there on thursday nights! School might get canceled for tomorrow, so I might not have to go into work. And if school is canceled so will my boys basketball games! :) THIS MEANS NO WORK FOR ME!! which would be AWESOME. Then Saturday morning, I have the powerlifting meet! Its gonna be one long day and then freedom! Can't wait.

I'm off two to go read some Word and get some much needed sleep! I'm under the weather a little and have had quite the week at work! But God has been sooo faithful <3 Him

Scripture of the Week
Psalm 5:12

Speechless

Yes, I Kristi one of the most talkative people I know.. am SPEECHLESS.

Not in the way that most may think. Its more of an AWE, in how God moves in the world and in my own life. Going to CFNI this semester and taking classes is the best thing that has happened to me. God is opening my eyes to SOOO much in His Word. I am just hungry for it more and more on a daily basis. His mercy and grace never cease to amaze me. I am in awe at His faithfulness. He continues to pursue me on a daily basis. I am FAR from perfect.. and EVERY time I mess up and think negatively towards myself I hear the still small voice tell me to keep going, its just amazing. I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that I have a purpose in this life- I even have the general idea of what God wants me to do in life. As I continue on this journey with Him, I wait PATIENTLY and with an expectant attitude knowing that when the VERY DAY comes for me to fulfill that purpose it will be perfect! He will give me the details in HIS own timing. I am excited- and up for any challenge the comes my way.

As I dig deeper into God's Word and become more speechless and in AWE about His love for His children I can only begin to dream of what is to come in my life. I know that I hold high expectations for myself and have dreams far beyond what I can imagine.. so I cannot fathom what God has in store for me, because I am POSITIVE its far better than what I have for myself! I am but a piece of the body of Christ, ready and willing to do as He asks.

Isaiah 6:8 "......Is there anyone I can send? Will someone go for us? I'll go, SEND ME...."

I LOVE YOU LORD
<3 YOUR FAITHFUL DAUGHTER