Heart of Thankfulness. Unfailing Love.

There are no words to REALLY and TRULY express what my heart feels like lately. God has been doing some amazing things in my life.

Ever wonder where life is taking you? Cause I do EVERY DAY. I don't question what God is doing, I just wonder sometimes where He is taking me, and what He has planned. Although I enjoy the journey I sometimes wish I just knew how it all turned out. Even in those times that I do want to know it all, I am constantly reminded that why would I need "faith" if God told me it all before it happened? I just need to remember to trust in His perfect plan! It's not always about knowing what will happen tomorrow but trusting Him for the blessings of today!

I have come to realize more about my personality and myself lately. I am the type of person that always wants to know WHY certain things happen, and have a complete understanding for the reasons people do or say the things they do. If I know and have understanding then I seem to be okay, but the minute I am confused or do not know why certain things are happening I go into panic mode!

Lately, I have had some things happen where the Holy Spirit will speak to me about something and I have no idea why I need that information, but I receive it and go on with life. Then within a few weeks, I get the answer to why I needed to know what He revealed to me in my spirit. It's like I get this realization that God is teaching me to be more aware of when He is speaking to me. Little by little I am becoming more aware of His voice.

Even with all the crazy questions that come up in my mind and heart daily, I love where I am in life right now with God, although I am constantly craving more. Which I think will ALWAYS be the case. My heart is burning with a continued desire to know Him MORE and MORE everyday! I know I should not be surprised by His continued faithfulness in my life but I am. I am in AWE of how amazing He is! A life that is continuously blessed beyond belief, one that takes me on a journey that is completely God-led. I would not want it any other way. How could one NOT want a God-Led life with the creator of ALL things, the reason I am where I am today is because of HIM!

A few days ago while reading a devotion I was given this summer, God gave me EXACTLY what I needed.

“Rest in the deep assurance of My unfailing Love. Let your body, mind, and spirit relax in My Presence. Release into My care anything that is troubling you, so that you can focus your full attention on Me. Be awed by the vast dimensions of My Love for you: wider, longer, higher, and deeper than anything you know. Rejoice that this marvelous Love is yours forever! The best response to this glorious gift is a life steeped in thankfulness. Every time you thank Me, you acknowledge that I am you Lord and Provider. This is the proper stance for a child of God: receiving with thanksgiving. Bring Me the sacrifice of gratitude, and watch to see how much I bless you”

I will rest in His love, through all the trials and tribulations. I am thankful to know such a loving heavenly father. He provides for me in more ways than I could ever imagine!! Right now in my current life’s dilemma He has given me PEACE, that peace that surpasses all understanding. I constantly talk to Him wanting to know what He is doing in my heart, why do I feel the way I do about certain situations? Is this of Him? If not take away the desire PLEASE! Pull out EVERY root that is planted within me that is NOT from You God! Reveal to me the things that are not of you that I may dispose of them and replace them with YOUR desires! I have prayed over and over that God would show me what it is that He is doing in my life right now… and as I bowed my head and with my hands to my face catching the tears, God whispered so sweetly “Patience my child, Patience”.. at that moment I looked up and on my wall at work I see a scripture that my student added (to my current wall of index card scriptures) on it said “You do not understand what I am doing now, But you WILL” John 13:7. I come to find out that she had put that there two-days before then! God knew what I needed when I needed it. No matter what the turn out is of my hearts dilemma I know that I sought God every step of the way. I may not currently understand, but as He says I will! It may not turn out the way I expect but God’s best is always better than anything I could imagine for myself.

So for now I will soak in His unfailing Love. I will thank Him daily for the blessings bestowed to me in my life. I will be forever indebted to this unconditional love that He displays daily. As I continue to fail at certain things in life, I will continue to pick myself back up and with His help I will be victorious. All that matters is His will and purpose for my life. Thankfulness will RULE my heart. Marvelous things will happen, scales will fall off my eyes enabling me to see more and more of His glorious riches. I will be centering my entire being in Him, enjoying an ABUNDANT life by overflowing with praise and thankfulness.

Enter into His gates with thanksgiving and a thank offering and into His courts with Praise! Be thankful and say so to Him, bless and affectionately praise His name! For the Lord is good; His mercy and loving-kindness are everlasting, His faithfulness and truth endure to all generations” Psalm 100:4-5

LIFE

Alot of my recent situations have been a true test of faith, and as I recently posted God has been completely faithful in ALL of them.

I recently have just thinking and pondering on my LIFE. I see where I am now compared to where I was and I thank God for being the head of the my life. Things at work are starting to become more routine as I adjust to all the changes. I struggle with different things that I expected, and I am able to catch on to other things easier so it is all coming along slowly but surely.

I am recovering slowly from my short hospital stay! I have an MRI next week to make sure all is well in the tendons and no surgery is required! Praying for positive outcome there. I am almost done with my antibiotics, and I am getting back on my workout regiment! Getting ready to go for a hike in a few and just spend sometime talking to God, thanking Him for all He has done. I need some alone time every now and then, and although its 107 degrees outside, I think the Hike will be good for me. I also think I have found a good church to attend! I did not get the same experience I got when I went to Victory Church, but there is something about this church that sparks a joy within me, so for now I'll be attending there until God directs me otherwise. I am excited to start plugging in and getting involved and allowing God to shine through me! :)

Anyway, I know this is not AMAZING stuff lol, but it is what is happening now :) Life is good, and God is GREAT! Football is in full force and I am excited to see where this year takes me!

In Christ with Love... KristiLee

Inviting Jesus into your Chaos.

Amazing the way life turns out so differently from what your mind had imagined, and so much BETTER than one could ever fathom.

There are no words to describe the faithfulness of God in my entire life and especially within the last few years as I have allowed Him to lead each and every step. I have been bad about keeping up with this blog, but I vow to be better at it from here on out! :) God constantly places things on my heart to share, and I will often just tell myself I'll get to it later and I NEVER do.. shows me I need to do what I am told because I never know the hearts that can be reached for HIS glory through mere words.

So almost a year ago to the day Pastor Mike and Janet Burns of Victory Church in Canton Texas did a sermon entitled "Inviting Jesus into your Choas.." I listened very intently and wrote pages and pages of notes. I was just enamored with what they were saying. Using Mark 4:35-41 as reference about the storm and the boat. In short, they explained that we had to allow Jesus to work in our lives both in the bad and the good. We often hear about one door closing and another door opening. We forget that there is usually a "hallway" of some sort that we walk through to get to that open door. We have to have to allow God to work in those interim periods when we go through unexpected situations.

Over the course of the year, this sermon has constantly been on my heart. God constantly reminds me that it is only through HIM that I can be victorious in my "chaos". God has impressed on my heart in recent years to look in to scripture on my own, and not base my beliefs off of what "my pastor" or "my parents" may have told me about God but to really dig deep and find what the WORD said was truth. I grew up thinking that in faith we are not supposed to go through anything such as adversities and struggles, BUT God says that our faith will be tested, HE is there to bring us through it.

Going through Mark 4:35-41 We see a few things:

1. Jesus sees the beginning and the end and will fulfill it

2. God is in the chaos (does not cause it) yet is not bothered by it (STORM)

3. Invited Jesus into the chaos with them

4. In your chaos do not be afraid, do NOT let your fear overcome you

a. stay in your boat during the storm- i.e. stay in your relationship with Christ

b. CALL on HIM! Allow Him to be there

c. When He comes to help, allow Him to do what He knows how to do LET Him do it

Throughout the last few months, I have had many times of my faith being "tested" I have experienced times in the "hallway" where I wanted to RUN to the open door if only I knew what it was at the time. God's faithfulness in those times though showed itself as I allowed Him to work in me through those times.

Its hard to believe that I applied to 36 jobs through May- I prayed over EACH one that I go where He wanted me to be. I got job #36

I had NO income from May 27- September 9 : yet I have been provided for exceedingly above what I could have EVER imagined!

I financially could not afford to move near the new job.. yet I was provided with a 3 bedroom house to stay at with the grace to pay her when I could!! (and I did not even know her!)

The new job required some unexpected certifications and financial commitments that were hard, but that God made possible through other avenues!

Within two weeks of starting the job, I landed in the hospital with an unexpected infection in my hand- being told that I would not be able to do my job for a few weeks (fully functional at least) yet God has placed people in my life that supported me, prayed for me and have invited me into an atmosphere that I am completely and utterly provided and cared for!

His faithfulness never ceases to AMAZE me! And to top it all off, I have prayed for over a year for a new laptop, and each time I believe I am going to buy one I DONT. I wait and wait and wait.. well I know why now! I went to a new teacher breakfast the other day and WON a new laptop ... !!! YES I WON, just had the right ticket in hand for the laptop! :)

Through all this, God continues to spark this fire within me to reach out and grab what He has to offer through His word. I want the TRUTH! I do not claim to know it all, I am but a daughter of the MOST HIGH GOD who is seeking to know Him more and more daily.

My journey is NOT even close to being over. I pray to reach the lives of any youth aged female or ANYONE for that matter for the glory of God. He is the ONLY reason I am where I am today. The journey here has not been easy, but I have come to realize that by inviting Jesus into my everyday life, both the chaos and celebrations I will always be victorious in the end. Just like in Romans 8:28.. ALL things work together for GOOD :)

With the new beginnings at the new job, new city, new church, new friends, new relationships I vow to invite Jesus into EVERY aspect of my life no matter the situation or circumstance and I challenge you to do the same! Trust in Him! Believe me when I say that you will NOT be disappointed.