LIFE

Alot of my recent situations have been a true test of faith, and as I recently posted God has been completely faithful in ALL of them.

I recently have just thinking and pondering on my LIFE. I see where I am now compared to where I was and I thank God for being the head of the my life. Things at work are starting to become more routine as I adjust to all the changes. I struggle with different things that I expected, and I am able to catch on to other things easier so it is all coming along slowly but surely.

I am recovering slowly from my short hospital stay! I have an MRI next week to make sure all is well in the tendons and no surgery is required! Praying for positive outcome there. I am almost done with my antibiotics, and I am getting back on my workout regiment! Getting ready to go for a hike in a few and just spend sometime talking to God, thanking Him for all He has done. I need some alone time every now and then, and although its 107 degrees outside, I think the Hike will be good for me. I also think I have found a good church to attend! I did not get the same experience I got when I went to Victory Church, but there is something about this church that sparks a joy within me, so for now I'll be attending there until God directs me otherwise. I am excited to start plugging in and getting involved and allowing God to shine through me! :)

Anyway, I know this is not AMAZING stuff lol, but it is what is happening now :) Life is good, and God is GREAT! Football is in full force and I am excited to see where this year takes me!

In Christ with Love... KristiLee

Inviting Jesus into your Chaos.

Amazing the way life turns out so differently from what your mind had imagined, and so much BETTER than one could ever fathom.

There are no words to describe the faithfulness of God in my entire life and especially within the last few years as I have allowed Him to lead each and every step. I have been bad about keeping up with this blog, but I vow to be better at it from here on out! :) God constantly places things on my heart to share, and I will often just tell myself I'll get to it later and I NEVER do.. shows me I need to do what I am told because I never know the hearts that can be reached for HIS glory through mere words.

So almost a year ago to the day Pastor Mike and Janet Burns of Victory Church in Canton Texas did a sermon entitled "Inviting Jesus into your Choas.." I listened very intently and wrote pages and pages of notes. I was just enamored with what they were saying. Using Mark 4:35-41 as reference about the storm and the boat. In short, they explained that we had to allow Jesus to work in our lives both in the bad and the good. We often hear about one door closing and another door opening. We forget that there is usually a "hallway" of some sort that we walk through to get to that open door. We have to have to allow God to work in those interim periods when we go through unexpected situations.

Over the course of the year, this sermon has constantly been on my heart. God constantly reminds me that it is only through HIM that I can be victorious in my "chaos". God has impressed on my heart in recent years to look in to scripture on my own, and not base my beliefs off of what "my pastor" or "my parents" may have told me about God but to really dig deep and find what the WORD said was truth. I grew up thinking that in faith we are not supposed to go through anything such as adversities and struggles, BUT God says that our faith will be tested, HE is there to bring us through it.

Going through Mark 4:35-41 We see a few things:

1. Jesus sees the beginning and the end and will fulfill it

2. God is in the chaos (does not cause it) yet is not bothered by it (STORM)

3. Invited Jesus into the chaos with them

4. In your chaos do not be afraid, do NOT let your fear overcome you

a. stay in your boat during the storm- i.e. stay in your relationship with Christ

b. CALL on HIM! Allow Him to be there

c. When He comes to help, allow Him to do what He knows how to do LET Him do it

Throughout the last few months, I have had many times of my faith being "tested" I have experienced times in the "hallway" where I wanted to RUN to the open door if only I knew what it was at the time. God's faithfulness in those times though showed itself as I allowed Him to work in me through those times.

Its hard to believe that I applied to 36 jobs through May- I prayed over EACH one that I go where He wanted me to be. I got job #36

I had NO income from May 27- September 9 : yet I have been provided for exceedingly above what I could have EVER imagined!

I financially could not afford to move near the new job.. yet I was provided with a 3 bedroom house to stay at with the grace to pay her when I could!! (and I did not even know her!)

The new job required some unexpected certifications and financial commitments that were hard, but that God made possible through other avenues!

Within two weeks of starting the job, I landed in the hospital with an unexpected infection in my hand- being told that I would not be able to do my job for a few weeks (fully functional at least) yet God has placed people in my life that supported me, prayed for me and have invited me into an atmosphere that I am completely and utterly provided and cared for!

His faithfulness never ceases to AMAZE me! And to top it all off, I have prayed for over a year for a new laptop, and each time I believe I am going to buy one I DONT. I wait and wait and wait.. well I know why now! I went to a new teacher breakfast the other day and WON a new laptop ... !!! YES I WON, just had the right ticket in hand for the laptop! :)

Through all this, God continues to spark this fire within me to reach out and grab what He has to offer through His word. I want the TRUTH! I do not claim to know it all, I am but a daughter of the MOST HIGH GOD who is seeking to know Him more and more daily.

My journey is NOT even close to being over. I pray to reach the lives of any youth aged female or ANYONE for that matter for the glory of God. He is the ONLY reason I am where I am today. The journey here has not been easy, but I have come to realize that by inviting Jesus into my everyday life, both the chaos and celebrations I will always be victorious in the end. Just like in Romans 8:28.. ALL things work together for GOOD :)

With the new beginnings at the new job, new city, new church, new friends, new relationships I vow to invite Jesus into EVERY aspect of my life no matter the situation or circumstance and I challenge you to do the same! Trust in Him! Believe me when I say that you will NOT be disappointed.

Faithfulness

So i know its been a LONG while since I have written in here. Life has come at me from every direction.. yet God has been so faithful. I spent alot of time writing in my personal journal at home but felt it was time for me to get back to this blog.

Lately, alot has been on my mind. Life really knows how to take you on a journey of unexpected twists and turns, and without God at my side I am not sure where I would be. God is the reason I have made it through the difficult times. He has been my provider and protector.. he has been faithful.

1 Thessolonians 5:24 "He who calls you is faithful..." God is faithful ALWAYS.
we sing this song at church called You are Faithful by Jesus Culture..

The bridge says

"Your spirit inside me holds me close,
in your wonderful presence I let go.
I cleanse my hands, you burn my heart.
I cry out for love, you set me apart"

This is me. I know he hold me close! I love the burn in my heart for him that grows daily.. and I know he sets me apart. This speaks wonders to me.

Those who know me know that I can get ahead of myself out of excitement and I somtimes do not always wait for God to completely guide me.. I sort of speak JUMP the gun. I get so excited about things that I know God has planned for me, I do not wait and allow him to guide me through the journey. I have done that often recently. I know there are things that God has called me to, and I know the ministry in which I am led to do, but I do not always get the timing right.

This next year in my last year at my current job and I move on. Where .. is a mystery that has yet to be fully revealed to me by God, but I am often reminded of the faithfulness of God. I at one point thought for sure that I was headed in one direction next year, but as I continue to pray in the Spirit and study I got a clear "wait for me". God spoke to me in a way that was so gentle and caring. Like a father telling his daughter to slow down and not run so far ahead of him. I get anxious and I do not wanna mess up what God has planned for me, but our speaker at church last weekend, talked about how God had a plan for EVERYONE. So that plan will always be there, and its up to us to allow God to help us to fulfill. I have fully surrendered myself to the work of the Lord, so whether I teach, or do athletic training, nursing, go into missions or attend bible school I will do it with Him leading the way. God is faithful and he will complete in me what he has started. My job is not to take the lead, but to FOLLOW.

I am often reminded of his continued faithfulness in my life especially in the last 6 months. It has been the most trying time of my life, hit with attack after attack of the enemy. But the bible talks in Deuteronomy 28:7 says:

"The Lord your God shall cause your enemies who rise up against you to be defeated before your face..."

I am ready and prepared to live for him. But I have to constantly remind myself that no matter the circumstance or what my MIND is telling me, He is ALWAYS faithful. I praise God for that. He is here with me. I am on my way to living my life as He has planned and life could NEVER be better. I am looking forward to my future :) wherever that may be!

LOVE your enemies

Matthew 5: 43-44 "You have heard it said before 'love your neighbor and hate your enemy'. But I tell you: 'Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you"

Wow those words have been resounding in my head since sunday afternoon. I feel like God is constantly reminding me that I need to LOVE more, and not only LOVE the people I get along with but even those that I have so much trouble getting along with.

Most know, i am actually a VERY easy going person and get along with many people. But I like to build relationships, i do not just want small aquaintences, but lifelong friendships. I know who I am in Christ, and I went to a 4 year Christian Unviersity. I have been around Christians consistantly for over 10 years. This time of my life is a real test of how much my relationship with Christ has grown.

I am around people DAILY who may not be Christians, I am not here to judge that is not my job. I am supposed to be who I am and lead an example of the life that Christ allows me to live. Yet, I sometimes feel I'm on my own out there.

Galations 1:10 states "Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of God"

Why do I care so much if my co-workers like me or people that I am with daily? If I am living and doing the things of God, then I know He will provide people in my life that will accept me for me. But then there are the situations that arise, and I am NOT an angry person, but a part of me WANTS to be angry. And right when I wanna lash out and speak my mind... God whispers to me the simple statement "Love your enemies" and over different situations the past two days, he reminds me of this commandment. I had every opportunity to respond with some harsh words of anger, yet before i could get them off my fingers into the phone, God just spoke my name softly... kinda like my dad would when he knew not very nice words were about to come out of my mouth lol. So i swallowed my proud, and responded with kindness. I cannot allow the Devil to win. I will remain joyous in Christ.

I am not here on earth to please man. I am here to do God's purpose for my life. I am also not hear to judge. I will live my life accordingly, and believe that God has everything undercontrol.

God still has ALOT of work to do with me. Especially on my heart. And I know in due time it will be just fine, but until then and even after then, I am ALL HIS. I will be fully CONSUMED by Him and his word. No man will be able to lead me astray from anything He has in store for me.

I look forward to this breakthrough! I know that God will come through for me, and I will choose to live in expectancy! My God will provide for me. I wanna shine for Him, I wanna be used in this world for His greater Good. It goes back to my last blog, of being more transparent for Him.

:)

BE Transparent.

Tonight at Life Group, Tim discussed about how we tend to hide ourselves from being who we truly are in Christ. We wear masks, and we think because we act the same no matter where we are that we truely are being ourselves when in actuallity we are being someone we are not.

How will we grow if do not allow people to see our flaws??

Here are some of the things mentioned:

Roadblocks to being real? Fear is the main issue

4 main reasons why many do NOT wanna be transparent....

1. Hidden weakness: Fear of exposure

2 Corinthians 4:2 (the message) "We refuse to wear masks and play games...rather we keep everything we do and say out in the open, the whole truth on display, so that those who want to can see..

1 John 1:7-8 "But if we walk in the light, and He is in the light than we have fellowship with one another.. if we claim to be without sin we decieve ourselves and the truth is not within us"

We need to feel as though we need to hide our flaws, yet let them be known! you never know the kind of testimony you have and the effect that it will have on others if you are not sharing it! People need to see that you have been through what they are going through!

2. Desire for approval: Fear of Rejection

Proverbs 29:25 "Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trust in the Lord will be kept safe.."

3. Past hurts: Fear of being hurt again

James 5:17 "Therefore confess your sins to eachother and pray for eachother that you may be healed.."

He then discussed reasons to be transparent, how we can affect the lives of others. We are part of the body of the church, we need to be able to grow ourselves. We as part of church are to support eachother, and protect eachother. We also have to know that we cannot do things on our own, and God places people in our lives to be able to share our struggles with, People who will stand with us in our faith to help us overcome.

You never know if the newer people in your church just need to see that you are just like them. People come into church and they see, happy-go-lucky people and get the impression that these people would never understand their problems, when the truth is we are dealing with the SAME ones.

Allow yourself to open up a little more, try not to play everything SAFE. Show the love of Christ in your life daily, by sharing those victories that He has done over past struggles, or things He is working on in our lives NOW.

John 15: 12-13 "My command is this, love eachother as I have loved you, Greater love has NO one than this, that He lay down His life for His friends"

Lets love one another as Christ loved us, embrace everyone with the Spirit of love. As we share our struggles, lets not allow ourselves to judge prematurely, yet listen and discern the Spirit of God as He guides us in helping eachother out.

I pray Lord that I can be MORE transparent and allow myself to continue to grow in you.

I pray that anyone who reads this will be able to be more transparent, give them the confidence and trust in you that you are putting the right people in their paths, to help them with whatever struggles they may need. Thank you.

Resurrection

As this weekend approaches, I ponder the events that took place over 2000 years ago. I cannot fathom being present at such a time.

I mean can you picture an innocent man, sacrificing his life for your sins? I picture it as someone jumping in front me and taking a bullet for me, even though I have every right to be shot. it's unreal. I cannot honestly say i could take a bullet for anyone.

It's unreal the kind of love that is portrayed, there is NO greater love.

God sent His son here for you and me, for our sins and raised Him from the dead! Unfortunately in the World today alot of people see easter as bunnies and eggs, but do NOT forget the REAL reason for the celebration. His resurrection is the ONLY reason I am where I am today.

THANK YOU JESUS. I LOVE YOU.

JOHN 3:16

STRENGTH. TRUST. PROTECTION.

I hold fast the confession of my hope without waivering, because I know God is faithful to keep His promise. Hebrews 10:23

God has truely been so faithful! These past two weeks have been just crazy! Satan has attacked me from every corner, yet I am reminding DAILY of how amazing my God is :)

First, I was hit in the wrist with a line drive while pitching batting practice for my softball girls.. then I fell down about 7 stairs at the music hall in Dallas, then the guy that was supposed to detail my car did not show up- AND my tire went bad so I had to get two new tires this past thursday! Well it does not stop there...

Saturday morning I got up early and left the house to head to class at CFNI. It was about 625am and I knew it was supposed to rain. I got on the highway, said a quick and simple prayer for protection and safe travels. Well its pouring rain at this point and I slowed down my driving, not to much but just being safe. About 10 miles after getting on the high way.. I felt my car just give out from underneath me. It hydroplaned..off the highway and spun about 4 times and landed in a ditch. Let me just say.. during the whole time this was happening - I had this peace in me.. that I KNEW i would not be physically harmed in any way. I just had this knowing that my angels were protecting me, I was just waiting for the ride to end so I could get out of the ditch. As soon as my car stopped...I looked up and smiled and just thank you God.. for keeping me safe and protecting me.

The car itself took a bit of a beating. Its got quite a bit of damage, and is not drivable. Its a matter of deciding where to go from here. Its fixable, but expensive. So I am not going to get anxious. I am gonna wait on God.. he will guide my steps. I know he has provided for me in every way and he knows what my needs are. Phillipians 4:19 Tell me he will provide ALL my needs. I physically do not have the money to repair this car, nor do I really want car payments, so I am standing on the promise that God is my father, he is my provider and he told me to CAST all my cares on Him! We'll here ya go God.. its all yours!

Well through all this I had to figure out what I should do until all is figured out with my car. I still needed to get places, my dad suggested I find a rental car and get prices etc. As I am doing this I have people chekcin up on me. My pastors Wife was such a blessing to me the whole day, just giving me moral support and helping me find a mechanic etc. I talked to our worship leader to tell her there was a chance I would not be at church. Well after i hung up with her, I got a text like 3 min later that said I could use her extra car for the week! AMEN PRAISE GOD! I was so blessed by that, God was faithful and he provided a way! :) now I can have some time to just allow God to work in my life, and get things figured out. I can finish up my last week of classes at CFNI.

The joy of the Lord is truly my strength! without Him, I would not be able to get through all this! Greater is He that is IN me that he that is in the world!

I love being able to laugh in the devil's face and say "ha you lose, I am alive and well". He cannot steal my joy no matter what my circumstance is! I have absolutely NO doubt in my mind that all this will turn out just fine. Just like Romans 8:28 says.. all this will work out for GOOD :)

I give God all the glory! I LOVE YOU LORD!

With Love- In Christ: